Positive Parenting Techniques

  

This word parenting or parent came into circulation only somewhere around maybe years ago and just about at that time one John Walmart the Earl of Rochester said something significant. He said, “Before I got married I had six wonderful theories about how to parent but now I have six children and all theories are gone,” unfortunately somewhere people have been made to believe that children are all born improper and we have to make them proper ,No, so what should I do parenting, I want you to look back and see when you were five six years of age, what would be the best kind of parents to have, if you look back you would know very clearly?

 If you are a parent, the important thing is please don't stand on a big pedestal. The only qualification you have is you just came here a few years early. That's the only mistake you've done.

When you say, I wish I was young what it means is I made the mistake of coming too early. So, this is the only qualification adults have that they came here a few years earlier than the younger people. This doesn't qualify you to advise about everything in the universe, it doesn’t!

If you admit your ignorance with the youth and especially with little children they will become your close friends, otherwise they look up to you because they have to there is a hierarchy business. Of course, everybody hates that hierarchy because looking up neck hurts, you know nobody likes it. Because in trying to place yourself above, you’re losing the possibility of being a good friend. If you're not a good friend they're not seeking your advice. They're not just in the neighborhood now globally they seek answers. You don't know where their friend is their friend is in Timbuktu right now, not in the neighborhood.  

 

The relationship is only possible when you're not in the Pulpit. When there is a friendship there is room for correction. When there is no friendship, you can say what you want but nobody's going to listen anyway. And if you go on telling advice after advice, they will just do the reverse.

 https://youtu.be/mYlReXEweBc

But if there was a bond of friendship, naturally they would listen. That's what one should earn. The parents and teachers should earn the Friendship.  

Just because a few years early you came, you know all the universe, there's no such thing. So just stop advising them and just be friends with them, play with them, go to a cinema with them listen to their kind of rap music, dance with them. You will see they will be fond of you and there will be a relationship. Once there's a relationship you can do something to influence them.  

First and foremost, thing that we need to understand, what child means? It is not some personalized project. We are manufacturing the next generation of people. Those who decide to have children must have dedicated time. You must have full-fledged dedicated time because, it is about making the Next Generation better than Who We Are.

 There is nothing special to be done, you don't have to buy a single toy. You just have to spend time, you just have to expose them to Nature, you just have to expose them to various forms of creation.

But just to get rid of the child you bought him an iPad when he's five. You buy him an iPad when he's four or five, don't think it's out of your love. You are being strategic; you want to get rid of him. Get rid of him means he keep engaged in the iPad endlessly, so you can go about your business the way you want.

 I don't think, it is necessary for such people to have children. Unless you're willing to have dedicated time, you should not do this crime, not necessary but once you have, you must have dedicated time and first of all you must fix yourself you must become that kind of a person the child will look up to and love to be with.

 

Then even time can be adjusted if they're really looking up to you, five minutes that you spend with him will be worth five days. Five minutes of contact is like five days!

 

What's there to teach a child. What is there to teach what do you know more about life that the child doesn't know.

 

Don't teach them survival tricks too early. This is a serious problem these days I think it's a little less than what it used to be before, to a three-year-old child, they're asking “what do you want to become? I want to become pilot, I want to become a Commando. These days all the boys want to be Commando, because that's the games they’re playing.

 

Parents think, all the things that they could not do, they must achieve through their children. But they are not an extension of your ambitions. They're not and they need not be so.  People think they own their children, no they're not your property.

 

So does it mean to say you don't say anything to them, no, it's your business to see. Because if you don't guide them somebody else will on the street or somebody will do it long distance on the internet. All kinds of creatures are out there. So, to protect them to nourish them, to allow them to explore their possibilities it is your business to do that.

 

If you want your children to consider the suggestions that you're making, don't try to discipline them, If you try to discipline them and it works, unfortunately it means that you have dumb children. If they're smart, it just won't work. If they're just dumb helpless children it'll work, otherwise your damn disciplining won't work.

 

Here and there maybe you put your foot down a little bit, but that right also you get only because you built a relationship, you build a very close friendly relationship.  So, somewhere you can use your privilege of being older than them, put your foot down on a few things but you can't go about disciplining them. You must drop that idea from your mind because it won't work.

 

If they don't like your discipline, it's just a few months away that they don't like you. If a few years away, they hate your discipline, you must know that much time away they'll also hate you. There's no question about it. So don't get yourself into that situation.

 

The most important thing is to provide him an atmosphere of which is joyful, loving and inspiring. Inspiring him to stand up and find his full potential. If this atmosphere is provided, you don't really have to worry about disciplining. Discipline will happen by itself. Discipline does not mean control; discipline means that you are focused towards knowing.

 

The word discipline in English, means a learning, or to learn, so when you say, I'm disciplined, that means you're always willing to learn but you're not stuck in some mode. So, discipline is not just doing something somewhere. You're willing to learn, which way to do everything better, so if you're constantly striving how to do everything better, you're disciplined. You're just doing something in a particular way that's does not discipline. If you bring yogic practices into a child's life, there is no way they cannot be disciplined. Discipline will happen to them.

 

This is a mistake, or this is a fundamental flaw in the education systems of the day that we think we need to prepare people for something. No, we don’t need to prepare people for nothing we just have to make people flexible and sharpen their intelligence, sharpen

their perception, whatever is needed do that. Only thing is, you have to make human

Intelligence in such a way that it's flexible and it will quickly grasp what is around.  Perception is sharpened, intelligence is sharpened but you don't become a concrete block, that I am an engineer, I am a doctor, I am this I am that.

 

You are becoming a concrete block; you can't change yourself. Does it mean to say no subject needs any training? Yes, it will need, many subjects need expertise, which needs a certain level of application and training. I am not questioning that. But you don't have to do it early on, right now from the age of three four they're telling I'm going to become I.T engineer, I'm going to become a startup, or a doctor, engineer.

 

What you need is that you are a solution seeking generation. Let your children do something that you could not dream of, if you have achieved a certain level of success, you have taken care of bread for your children, so let them live a life where they don't have to think about their bread. That is, they don't live for their survival, they live to create something that is wonderful for everybody for himself and for everybody else.

 #positiveparenting #sadhgurur #sadguru

“LHP”-A method for Being productive in each hour of life

Being productive means, to ensure each and every hour of a day, of our life, contributes to enhancement of our life. What does enhancement mean, it means to uplift our mental, physical, spiritual, social or financial well-being. As per our priority or perspective towards any of the above areas of our life, we try to attain a higher level of knowledge or take actions, to uplift our self to an another level. Simple way is to, ask our self after each hour, if the last hour that I have spent, is any way contributes to the growth our life in any of the aspect in terms of our mental, physical, spiritual, social or financial well-being. If the answer is “NO”, we are wasting our time and will soon feel exhausted and meaningless.

I call this method as “LHP”, (last hour productivity).  To better implement this method we need to have a set of goals that we have written down, based on our mental, physical, spiritual, social or financial needs. Once we have our set of goals (at least 10 goals in each area of life). Once we start our day, after each hour, we can write down what we have done in last hour, against each set of goals. For example, below are few sample goals and last hour contribution to it-

Goal: Health- Weight loss by 10 KG by next 60 days: Last Hour contribution- Walked for 20 Min. 40 Min Yoga Etc.

Goal: Knowledge: Read one book per week: Last our contribution: Read a chapter of a book. View 20 min video in your subject of interest, etc.

Goal: Financial: To learn investment: Read about value investing and mutual fund etc.

Impact of this LHP is compounding and extraordinary. We can understand this with a very simple example.  If you read 60 minutes each day, you will be able to complete one book a week on an average. A book per week on average would be a 50 books a year, to get a PHD at a leading university in any subject, you have to read about 30 to 50 books and combined them to a dissertation. If you read 30 to 50 book in your field in a course of a year, you get the equivalent of a doctoral degree, whether in selling, business or entrepreneurship or any other field. 

If we, self-analysis our last our activity on a regular basis for 21 days it will become a habit and it will become a part of our subconscious mind. Once it become a part of subconscious mind, our mind will automatically remind us, if we engage our self in any activity which is not linked with our sets of goals.  As a result of this we will only engage our self, in those, activity that will uplift our life. This is life changing, it will change our life fundamentally.

The fundamental difference with normal “end day review” methods or “check list” methods is that, in “LHP”, it can be convert to a habit and link with your subconscious mind.

Are your skills are based on right principle?

There are thousands of books that talks about attitude, self-discipline, time management skills and techniques to grow in life. These books are designed to help you in that part of life, where you think you need better techniques or skill to get success. For example, if you are a student and you think that you need to improve your communication skills and you can pick a book written on communication and learn some skills to improve. If you are in sells and want to develop your selling skills, you can pick a book on selling skills.  But the missing thing, in this ocean of self-help book is that there are thousands of books and thousands of techniques, but nowhere you will get a fundamental rule or principle to follow, which will guarantee success.

The skill sets are learnable and it may work for a person but may not work for other. For example, selling is a learnable skill, but all those who learn the skills, does not test success. But as per this books if you learn a skill, you should be successful in that area. The reason is simple; you have only learned the skill but not gone through the universal principle you need follow in this profession. The core principle of selling profession is honesty. If your service or product is not based out on honesty and wellbeing, it will bound to fail, even if you learn and apply, best of the best, selling skills and tool to success.

To kept it simple, skills are only useful it correctly blends with the principle that is lying behind it. 

What is principle-

Principle are universal and it does not change person to person. Skills are, set of techniques that develop as per the potential of the person who practice that.

There are set of principle with every field of our life-

For example, best social and ethical principle that we learn from childhood are, honesty, interiority, morality, sympathy, empathy, kindness etc. These principles are universal and base of any society in the world.  As a part of society we need to follow this principle.

As we said principle are universal, it means, these are the core of our sole existence. If your learned skill sets are not aligning with these principles, you are bound to fail.

Principle vs skills:

There are thousands of books that talks about attitude, self-discipline, time management skills and techniques to grow in life. These books are designed to help you in that part of life, where you think you need better techniques or skill to get success. For example, if you are a student and you think that you need to improve your communication skills and you can pick a book written on communication and learn some skills to improve. If you are in sells and want to develop your selling skills, you can pick a book on selling skills.  But the missing thing, in this ocean of self-help book is that there are thousands of books and thousands of techniques, but nowhere you will get a fundamental rule or principle to follow, which will guarantee success.

The skill sets are learnable and it may work for a person but may not work for other. For example, selling is a learnable skill, but all those who learn the skills, does not test success. But as per this books if you learn a skill, you should be successful in that area. The reason is simple; you have only learned the skill but not gone through the universal principle you need follow in this profession. The core principle of selling profession is honesty. If your service or product is not based out on honesty and wellbeing, it will bound to fail, even if you learn and apply, best of the best, selling skills and tool to success.

To kept it simple, skills are only useful it correctly blends with the principle that is lying behind it. 

What is principle-

Principle are universal and it does not change person to person. Skills are, set of techniques that develop as per the potential of the person who practice that.

There are set of principle with every field of our life-

For example, best social and ethical principle that we learn from childhood are, honesty, interiority, morality, sympathy, empathy, kindness etc. These principles are universal and base of any society in the world.  As a part of society we need to follow this principle.

As we said principle are universal, it means, these are the core of our sole existence. If your learned skill sets are not aligning with these principles, you are bound to fail.

Know yourself to know the world!

 “It’s does not matter, where you are coming for, all that matter is where you are going”- Brian Tracy

I am here today to let you guys give a prospective about how your own thinking decide what you will achieve in your life. It's not your education nor your background but only and only your thoughts.

To grow and develop yourself, you should know your own potential. You should know your purpose. You should know that one thing, that one thing, if you are asked to do or will love to do endless time, without feeling bored or drained out.

The problem lies here, many of us never tried to know our self or may be do not even know any methods to know our own self. In today's era of Facebook, Instagram and snapchat, we are so occupied with other's notion and hypnotize by the showbiz of the media and content creator that we are constantly try to imitate others and focus on getting instant gratification through likes and view. In doing so, many of us feel demotivated or developed low self-esteem in course of time. Main reason for this is, because you give yourself to hand of other people to decide your worth. If other like your post, you feel good and try do that again, but if you don't get that, you feel demotivated and mental asylum.

If you are reading this, you are one among those, who has realized that, it’s time to get out of the red zone and start with something that is valuable and satisfying in nature. To start with, first thing is to know yourself with few simple steps. I can promise, if follow the steps as you read this, you will feel the difference and develop a deep sense of self-worth and will feel motivated to start something that you have kept for long to begin with.

Here we go, in this step, you go back to your childhood and start writing your experience or achievement in below format-

1.       The experience that you have learned being a part of a big or small family. The experience and learning from your relatives.

2.       You experience of school life, school friends, sports, teachers anything that you can remember.

3.       Your college days’ experience, being in campus or that of hostel.

4.       Your initial job life struggles or learning. So on….

You can do this exercise writing your experience just in some simple bullet format.

For example,

# I have experience of completing my schooling from a government school.

# I have experience of being member of a big family.

# I have experience of being part of school cricket team.

# I have experience of college hostels so on and so forth…….

If you write down your all your experience in a sequential way from your childhood to current date, you will see that you have some unique experience, which you don’t see in any of your close group of people. That were the experience, which differentiate you from others, that way, you all together have different story to tell, in short you are unique and you deserve to be proud of yourself.

Be one with Nature

Keep it right.

Stay Strong

Add some adventures...

Being natural..

Only action matters...

Keep your passion alive

Character ethics---

Foundation of Character ---

Once a helpless mother visited Mahatma Gandhi and beg him to advise his son, not to eat so much sugar, which is harming him with obesity. Bapu, took a deep breath and remain quite for a while. He then holds the hand of the boy and told her to come to him after a week. Week later, the woman and her son visited him again. Babu, hold the boy hand and pull him to seat beside him and explained to him about how sugar is harming him and how it will be more complicated going forward. The boy nods his head and promise Babu, that he will abide by his words. The curious mom, slowly asked Babu, why he has not advised to the boy last week, Babu, with a smile on his face told that he was also fond of sugar and was eating more sugar then required. Since last week he is only taking minimum sugar and overcome the habit of eating more sugar.